Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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