Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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