a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
