Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
