would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
