I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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