he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
