So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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