i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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