Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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