I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize