Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Its about making memories worth repressing
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
