i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
