He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
