We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
