Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's never too late to be topless.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
