Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
