what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
