That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
