You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
