my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
