he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
