my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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