im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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