Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
