it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
