the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
