Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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