stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
