Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
