How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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