She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
