p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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