U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
