I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
