Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
