Already got asked if we're dating
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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