Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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