i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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