VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
