dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
