I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
