yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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