I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
