Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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