I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
