Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We got so high we made milksteak
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
