i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
