Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
