I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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