Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
